It’s been almost two years. Miss me? No? I’ll make you wish you said YES!!! Locked in a pillory, with a pear of anguish expanding in each orifice, your only comfort will be the soothing sounds of this new episode of The Offaldrome gently licking at your eardrums like the tiny tongue of a hummingbird upon a flower.
Offaldrome 6: “Is It Wet?”
Questions, questions, questions. So many questions in these difficult times as we face an uncertain future. “Will the economy improve? Will I find another job? What will I resort to in order to pay the bills? And then, what if prostitution becomes legalized, and I have to start paying taxes? Am I important enough to John Cusack that he will save me as the world collapses two years from now?” Sorry, no rides for hookers in his rescue limo. Have some dignity, even in such desperate times, you vile strumpet. I see you now, falling to your death into the depths of a great chasm, but you are at peace, for your mind is soothed by the beautiful sounds of this question-themed episode of The Offaldrome.
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Offaldrome 5: “Beneath a Snowy Mound”
Sit on Uncle Belasco’s lap and tell him what you want for Christmas. He already knows what he’s gonna give you, regardless of what you say. Turn this new, holiday-themed podcast up loud while he’s giving it, so the neighbors won’t hear your cries.
Offaldrome 4: “Wearing the Wart of Horror”
A Halloween-themed episode guaranteed to cause your blood to curdle, your spine to shiver, and your bowels to loosen!
Offaldrome 3: “Grow Grow Grow Tree Tree Tree”
The Offaldrome finally returns! This episode is dedicated to all you folks who abstain from consuming the charred flesh of slaughtered animals. Louche tips his hat to you and hopes that your meat ban doesn’t extend to swallowing his raw flesh. Uncle Belasco should always be on the menu.
Offaldrome 2: “Spurting Luger”
Offaldrome 1: “I Love You, Handsome”
Celebrate Valentine’s Day with Louche Belasco and the first ever Offaldrome podcast.