Offaldrome 5: “Beneath a Snowy Mound”

Sit on Uncle Belasco’s lap and tell him what you want for Christmas. He already knows what he’s gonna give you, regardless of what you say. Turn this new, holiday-themed podcast up loud while he’s giving it, so the neighbors won’t hear your cries.

Beneath a Snowy Mound

The Beatles – Everywhere It’s Christmas
Akim and the Teddy Van Production Company – Santa Claus is a Black Man
Bit Shifter – Let It Snow
The Go-Go’s – I’m Gonna Spend My Christmas with a Dalek
Nervous Norvus – I’m Waitin’ Up for Santa Claus
Harry Black – Christmas Holds No Joy for Me
Wall of Voodoo – Shouldn’t Have Given Him a Gun for Christmas
Tiny Tim – Santa Claus Has Got the AIDS This Year
The Youngsters – Christmas in Jail
Brian Dewan – The Island of Misfit Toys
Milton Delugg – Hooray for Santa Claus
Lon Chaney Jr. – Monster Holiday
Bruce Haack – The Ghost with the Most
Richard Cheese – Holiday in Cambodia
Dick “Two Ton” Baker – Jingle Bells
Dina Martina – Christmas
Kay Martin & Her Body Guards – Come on Santa, Let’s Have a Ball
Fat Daddy – Fat Daddy
Herman Apple Ses Carillons Et Ses Percussions – Le P’tit Renne Au Nez Rouge
Tom Lehrer – A Christmas Carol
Spike Jones & His City Slickers – All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth
Little Susie – Who Put the Gum in Santa’s Whiskers?
Secret Chiefs 3 – I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
Little Marcy – Suzy Snowflake
Mel Blanc – I Tan’t Wait Till Quithmuth Day
Victor Banana – Here Comes Santa
The Waikikis – White Christmas
Sparks – Thank God It’s Not Christmas
Paul Slocum – Up on the House Top
Stan Kenton – What is a Santa Claus
Louis Armstrong – Zat You Santa Claus


Offaldrome 5: “Beneath a Snowy Mound” — 8 Comments

  1. Thank you Uncle Balasco for making my Christmas a little darker. That was a fun ‘cast.. and i love how you slipped in the clip from Black Christmas at the end!

    I hope you and Mrs Balasco have a great holiday in that sex swing. I am sure you will be slipping in something into her as well.

    Ohhhhhhhh i keep forgetting to ask you this but what does it say in the beginning of the podcast in your introduction? It sounds like “Phantom Liar” but i am sure that isn’t what it is saying. Is it?

  2. I thought you’d like that! Next year I’m gonna take it even further and call you personally to say those filthy things.

    The wife and I had the sex swingingest Christmas ever! We ditched the fireplace this year in favor of windowside fuck fests. The neighborhood children are now cautiously walking past our house at an even further distance.

    I’m not sure what that was. In what context was it said? I’ll admit that I’m usually inebriated when recording the show and my speech is a bit slurred. If I had to work sober I’d rather be unemployed.

  3. You have my phone number, right?!

    I was referring to the intro that your listeners hear at the beginning of every podcast. Some odd music/sounds come on and then there is a voice repeating something over and over again. What the hell are they saying… it has been driving me nuts.

  4. Do you have a new number now? Send it to me if you do. But don’t post it here. Lots of creeps frequent this site.

    Well, in the intro, I repeat “Offaldrome” several times. That’s all that’s said. If the men and women moaning in the background are trying to communicate something, I don’t have the slightest idea what it is. I always assumed they were merely moans of podcast-induced ecstasy.

  5. Yes i do have a new number. I will send it via email. The creeps will have to go on wondering.

    Yeah, that makes sense. When repeated several times “Offaldrome” can sound just like “Phantom Liar”. Right?

  6. You should seek help in dealing with those auditory hallucinations. Or perhaps you’re just hearing what you want to hear. Mrs. Belasco always claims she’s screaming “No! Stop!” when I karate chop her in the ribs during sex, but that’s not what I’m hearing at the time.

  7. The “similarities between Santa and blacks” is in the top 10 finest pieces of comedy I have ever heard in my life. I’m serious. I replayed that at least 15 times, and then played it again for some friends. Well played!

  8. Thank you, kind sir. Most folks would never think to compare a man so blindingly white to African Americans, but Louche Belasco has a keen awareness which allows him to see what most folks cannot.

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